The Water Board Gets A Bigger Clipboard
SB 7 is about oversight and financing of water infrastructure matters under the Texas Water Development Board; Patrick's answer to local needs is another Austin clipboard.
Water Needs More Than A Clipboard
SB 7's caption says it relates to "the oversight and financing of certain water infrastructure matters under the jurisdiction of the Texas Water Development Board."
That is the receipt. Water infrastructure is real. The Patrick-era punchline is that every local need eventually gets marched to Austin and handed a bigger clipboard.
Infrastructure Is Not A Slogan
Texans know water is not optional. Farms, towns, businesses, schools, and families all live downstream of decisions that can be either practical or performative.
The satire is not that Texas should ignore water. The satire is pretending oversight language automatically equals wise stewardship.
Follow The Actual Receipt
Patrick is listed by the Texas Tribune as Texas lieutenant governor. SB 7 was signed by the governor, and the enrolled text is public.
So keep the argument simple: read the caption, read the bill, and ask whether Texans are getting durable infrastructure or another round of statehouse self-congratulation.
Retire The Clipboard Theater
Vikki Goodwin is the named alternative for Texans who want infrastructure handled like infrastructure, not campaign scenery.
Ban Dan Patrick's clipboard government. Vote for Vikki Goodwin.
Sources
Meet the alternative: Vikki Goodwin
Texas has a choice. State Rep. Vikki Goodwin is running for Lieutenant Governor on a platform of fully funding public schools, protecting the grid, and keeping government out of small businesses it doesn't understand. If you're tired of Dan Patrick's priorities, there's somewhere else to put your vote.